


don't know how to believe this is it

by CoffeeAndArrows



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, obvious rise of skywalker spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:27:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21959590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeAndArrows/pseuds/CoffeeAndArrows
Summary: When she saw Poe brush some of her hair from her eyes, surveying the blood crusted down the side of her face and trying to work out how much of it was hers, she crumbled. Finn's arm slipped back around her waist, more carefully this time, and the look he exchanged with Poe made Rey's heart ache. She attempted to lie to them for a second time, but her words caught in her throat and she couldn't think of anything to say, because it was blatantly obvious that she was falling to pieces, and nothing she did could stop them from seeing it. The atmosphere around them was jubilant, the celebrations had already started, and yet she couldn’t even manage a smile.Her fingers tangled in Finn's jacket, and she didn't let go.---pretty much just that hug from the end of the movie, just longer and softer and more drawn out
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn/Rey
Comments: 38
Kudos: 356





	don't know how to believe this is it

**Author's Note:**

> hello happy christmas have some star wars emotions

It didn't truly feel like it was over until she landed Luke's x-wing and clambered out of the cockpit - and even then,  _ believing _ that the fight was finished was a stretch. Part of her still felt as though there would be Sith lords waiting for her in the forest, lightsabers in hand, or that the ghosts that haunted her nightmares would reappear yet again. No matter how much they all fought, it never seemed to be over.

But people had started celebrating, and as she shakily made her way towards them, the crowd spotted her. People patted her on the shoulder, offering their congratulations. Children grinned up at her in awe as the cheers started, and the faces in front of her blurred into one. She closed her eyes for a second, head pounding, and her knees threatened to buckle. She needed medical treatment, desperately, but right now all she wanted was to sleep. Her bruises and cuts and sprains ached now the adrenaline from the fight had started to wear off. Things were broken, too, but part of her wondered whether maybe, fixing those things would take more time than anyone had to spare.

She must look like she'd been through hell.

(She had. They all had.)

She didn't even know who had made it, and who they had lost in the fight. She'd know though, if either Poe or Finn had died. She'd be able to feel it.

Or at least that's what she told herself, as she forced her feet forward. A sharp pain shot through her chest, and she winced. The only thing keeping her standing right now was her urge to find them both, and she didn't know what she would do if she couldn’t.

They  _ had _ to be here. Somewhere.

Rey took a step forward, and the crown parted. 

Finn and Poe starred at her, a few meters away.

A pause hung in the air, as both of their expressions turned from disbelief to wonder to amazement, and then immediately back to concern. Rey attempted to smile. They were safe - both of them. They’d seen better days - they all had - but she couldn’t count the number of times over the past few hours when she’d wondered whether she would ever see them again, and had cursed herself for leaving without a goodbye. They would have died by her side, if she had let them. The three of them had promised to do this together.

Music started playing from behind her just as her legs decided to stop working, but before she had the chance to fall arms were wrapping around her as Finn pulled her into a hug, arms warm and safe and reassuring. Rey sagged into him.

He was  _ here. _

Poe was too, seconds later, embracing them both as if he was still terrified of losing them. Rey’s stomach twisted, and her heart clenched unpleasantly. She hugged Poe a little bit tighter. She had been scared too, but Poe had an untamed optimism she had never been able to understand. Whereas she had assumed that she _would_ lose them, and had accepted it along with a sickening sense of defeat, Poe had dared to hope that they could have a future, after the war was won.

He had higher hopes and dreams, and had so much further to fall. He was too good for any of them.

Leia would be proud, Rey thought, and choked back a sob. She'd be proud of them all.

Finn started crying first, but it didn't take long for her eyes to start burning too. The weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders, but she didn't know what to do without it. She didn't want to be Rey, the scavenger from Jakku, but she didn't want to be whoever she had become. She wanted to go home, despite knowing she didn't have one. She had no one, except the two people standing in front of her, hugging her as if she was the most important person in their world.

The world spun around them, and the arm Poe had slung around her shoulders shifted to her waist, his hand warm and steady and reassuring. His other hand grasped hers, whist Finn's fingers curled tightly into the scraps of fabric covering her shoulders. 

They needed this reassurance just as much as she did, she realised, and her chest tightened.

She didn't know how long they stood there, but eventually Finn shifted, causing her ribs to protest. She gasped, unable to keep her grimace off her face. Immediately, Poe pulled back, expression twisting in concern. "Rey - "

"I'm fine," she promised, but neither he nor Finn believed her. She wouldn't either; she could hear her own voice, small and hoarse and uncertain.

Poe's grip on her lessened, and she stumbled. "You're not," he said quietly and Rey bit her bottom lip, tears springing to her eyes yet again. She wasn’t. She knew that. But even after all this time, letting either of them  _ know  _ that she was barely holding it together contradicted every instinct she had. Letting them know she was vulnerable felt like the same thing as letting them know they could hurt her, if they tried, and her urge to protect herself was usually stronger than this.

But when she saw Poe brush some of her hair from her eyes, surveying the blood crusted down the side of her face and trying to work out how much of it was hers, she crumbled. Finn's arm slipped back around her waist, more carefully this time, and the look he exchanged with Poe made Rey's heart ache. She attempted to lie to them for a second time, but her words caught in her throat and she couldn't think of anything to say, because it was blatantly obvious that she was falling to pieces, and nothing she did could stop them from seeing it. The atmosphere around them was jubilant, the celebrations had already started, and yet she couldn’t even manage a smile. Her fingers tangled in Finn's jacket, and she didn't let go.

Nor did he.

Not for a long time.

"Come see a medic," Finn eventually said, words quiet, and for once, Rey didn't protest. Instead, she took Poe's outstretched hand, shooting a tired smile in his direction when he traced his thumb gently across a gash stretching from her knuckles to her wrist.

She followed them blindly, too exhausted to ask where they were taking her, and ended up sat in a hastily set up triage area, although it was sparse - most people who had been injured during the battle hadn’t made it back.

She could see Poe thinking the same thing, and somehow, that hurt more. The resistance had lost soldiers, but Poe had lost friends.

At some point, she would tell them both what had happened, and how she'd managed to bring down Palpatine. They deserved the truth, and she wanted to share it. She was desperate to hear their side of the story too - later, once they had all had a chance to breathe, and sleep, and wash off the grime from all the battles they'd fought over the past four years. Once they all remembered how to exist, without a war raging on around them.

She rested her head against Finn's shoulder, eyes starting to fall shut no matter how hard she fought to stay awake. Poe's eyebrows turned down into a frown, and she looked away. He looked concerned, and for some reason, that cut just as deep as any other injury she had suffered. His eyes were too kind, and in moments like this, that kindness was overwhelming. 

"You can sleep, Rey," he said softly, tucking some more hair back behind her ear, and Finn hummed an agreement, promising "you're safe."

_ Safe _ was vague. 

Safety had never been guaranteed.

But Rey closed her eyes anyway, and let the exhaustion drag her away - because with Finn on one side of her, and Poe on the other, safety felt irrelevant. They had taken down the final order together, and they could take down anyone else who ever stood in their way. She didn’t need to be safe - because she was protected. And that was good enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr (@z-tomaz) i need people to yell at about these idiots


End file.
